April 27, 2009

Advantages of living after 50!

Filed under: Uncategorized — durvish @ 3:14 pm

Someone had to remind me, so I’m reminding you too. Don’t laugh… is all true…

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02.. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run–anywhere.

04. People call at 9 PM and ask,”did I wake you?”

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


April 20, 2009

Pissed as Hell!

Filed under: Uncategorized — durvish @ 11:00 pm

I’m pissed! Pissed and buzzed — a bad combination!
So a few people from Louisiana are suing the Army Corp of Engineers after Hurricane Katrina for MILLIONS!
HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you somehow over look the fact that you lived in a TARGET! ARE YOU STUPID! Is it the responsibility of the government to tell you when maybe just maybe you might be buying a house in an area where just maybe a little ‘ole storm might pass!
And I don’t know maybe when every news agency in the United States says you might want to evacuate and you decide to “just ride it out”!


You get hit once and your to stupid to realize the danger where you live! People from Florida get hit EVERY YEAR! They’re rebuilding not suing!

You want to use MY tax money to replace your intelligence! IF YOU CAN’T TAKE THE HEAT GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN! IF YOU CAN’T TAKE THE WEATHER MOVE!

Go to Oklahoma and talk those people! They got balls — they rebuild. Go to Florida — they rebuild and listen to Jimmy Buffet!

Take responsibility for your actions. You live in a flood zone (check the map). You live in a coastal swamp — CHECK THE MAP! You live in a hurricane prone area — CHECK THE FRIGGIN MAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sorry. Shit happens. I am just not willing to pay for your shit!

April 13, 2009

From the Navy SEALs’ creed:

Filed under: Uncategorized — durvish @ 3:46 pm

“My loyalty to country and team is beyond reproach. I humbly serve as a guardian to my fellow Americans, always ready to defend those who are unable to defend themselves. I do not advertise the nature of my work, nor seek recognition for my actions. I voluntarily accept the inherent hazards of my profession, placing the welfare and security of others before my own. I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men. … In the absence of orders I will take charge, lead my teammates and accomplish the mission. … I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. My nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight.”

April 1, 2009

If your full of it!

Filed under: Uncategorized — durvish @ 1:52 pm


If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, repeat the
following phrase three times in succession when symptoms occur:

“My financial and personal well being are in the hands of Barack Obama, Joe
Biden, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Tim Geithner, Rahm Emmanual, Barney Frank,
Chris Dodd, and Al Gore.”

If that doesn’t scare the crap out of you, then you are probably destined to
be full of it for the rest of your life.
Caution: Potential side effects may include immediate nausea and or

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